NEW IBERIA, LA \u2014 In what geopolitical analysts are already calling “the most Louisiana solution to international conflict,” a group of ten Cajuns from South Louisiana has embarked on a self-appointed mission to bring peace to the Middle East, armed with nothing but 300 pounds of live crawfish, a propane burner, and the kind of blind optimism only found south of I-10.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The delegation, known officially (to themselves) as the Crawfish Caucus, announced their plan at a press conference held at an LSU tailgate, between bites of boudin and lukewarm Abita. \u201cWe were sittin\u2019 around the tailgate, talkin\u2019 \u2018bout how everybody’s always fightin\u2019 over there,\u201d said one of the caucus members. \u201cAnd we figured, hell, ain\u2019t nobody mad when they got a plate full of crawfish and some cold beer. So why not try it with Iran and Israel?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This ten-man unit, including the likes of local Mayor Matt Broussard, Sheriff Robert ‘Blue’ Broussard, and key figures like Lowry, Sluw, and Moom, departed from New Orleans International Airport last week, with a package in tow marked \u201cDiplomatic Crawfish \u2013 DO NOT BOIL UNTIL PEACE IS DECLARED.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Upon arrival, confusion ensued at customs in Tel Aviv, where authorities mistook the crawfish pot for an \u201cexplosive device.\u201d Matters only escalated when Sluw began seasoning the air with Tony Chachere\u2019s \u201cfor ambiance.” Following a brief detainment and several confused Google Translate attempts involving the word \u201clagniappe\u201d and “fais-do-do,” the group was eventually granted limited diplomatic status, mainly because both Israeli and Iranian officials were too curious to send them home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A surprise outdoor summit was hastily arranged on neutral ground in Cyprus. Delegates from both Iran and Israel sat down with the Cajuns around folding tables covered in newspaper, bibs provided by Sluw, and communal buckets of boiled potatoes and corn. By hour two, Iranian and Israeli officials were reportedly laughing, toasting Miller Lights, and learning how to peel crawfish \u201cwith just a twist and a suck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYou know, we didn’t solve the nukes or anything,\u201d said Moom, \u201cbut those fellas agreed to stop shootin\u2019 rockets for at least the duration of the boil. That\u2019s progress!\u201d UN Secretary-General Ant\u00f3nio Guterres praised the initiative in a statement, calling it, \u201ca truly unorthodox but effective deployment of soft-shell diplomacy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked what their next step was, Mayor Broussard replied, \u201cWell, if this doesn\u2019t hold, we might try gumbo in North Korea. Heard that lil\u2019 fella likes soup.\u201d At press time, the Crawfish Caucus was seen boarding a plane with leftover sacks of Zatarain\u2019s, shouting, \u201cNext stop: world peace!\u201d while one delegate attempted to sneak a live crawfish into the cockpit \u201cfor good luck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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NEW IBERIA, LA \u2014 In what geopolitical analysts are already calling “the most Louisiana solution to international conflict,” a group of ten Cajuns from South Louisiana has embarked on a self-appointed mission to bring peace to the Middle East, armed with nothing but 300 pounds of live crawfish, a propane burner, and the kind of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":531,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"tdm_status":"disabled","tdm_grid_status":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[47,2,45],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-413","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"category-featured","9":"category-politics"},"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=413"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":562,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/413\/revisions\/562"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/531"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/crawfishchronicle.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}